From now on, I ask for ID

Wang: (cracking fifth of vodka) "I tell you, Chris... if there's one thing I DON'T do when I'm hammered, it's getting all wasted and hooking up with some random chick."

(3 hours later)

EveryoneElseAtParty: "Hey, check out Wang on the couch, holding that empty fifth, making out with that random chick. Not only is it terribly inappropriate, it's horribly ironic."

Aw, maaaaaan....

To my credit, I don't remember ANY of it, and I black out quite rarely, so perhaps I wasn't quite adequately prepared to handle the moment when my brain decided, "Alright, that's it. You're on your own, you fucking asshole."

To my discredit, she was 18.

To my credit, I really had NO idea what her name was, let alone her age.

To my discredit, the next time I saw her, it became immediately obvious that she was, indeed, no older than 18.

To my credit, if she'd been 17, I probably would killed myself.

I drove Across the State yesterday to see my mother for her birthday. I was early by a day (note to self: you're a terrible person), but I covered it very well. Sadly, I was also off by a full year, and I did NOT cover that well at all. Thank the lord my mother came home at 4PM, fully inebriated from a series of LunchBeers with her galpals.