Everytime you jerkoff, a kitty dies
Things of which Derek is ashamed:
1) Being a slave to the "never end a phrase with a preposition" rule, even when shit gets awkward
2) My 2 most recent blog entries. Good/Lord: How drunk can a man get?
3) Last night, I burned my finger all bad, fell down a flight of stairs, and seriously offened a good friend and roommate; that's awesome, but I forgot about it until today.
4) I recently accepted a $25 bet to slam 4 Lime-ass Smirnoff Ices in 10 minutes. It took me 7.5 minutes. I should be executed.
5) One of my good friends had a date tongiht. He asked that I show up. I thought, "Well, I can't just wear this cutoff T-shirt, so I'll put on this XL Party Poker jacket." My best friend was wearing a 2XL Chauncey Billups T-shirt he'd worn the night before...
6) I was the most despicable person mentioned in #5
7) My friend Graig said I "was a fucking cartoon character" last night.
Wait a fucking second. I'm not ashamed about that last one at all; I'm AWESOME!!
1) Being a slave to the "never end a phrase with a preposition" rule, even when shit gets awkward
2) My 2 most recent blog entries. Good/Lord: How drunk can a man get?
3) Last night, I burned my finger all bad, fell down a flight of stairs, and seriously offened a good friend and roommate; that's awesome, but I forgot about it until today.
4) I recently accepted a $25 bet to slam 4 Lime-ass Smirnoff Ices in 10 minutes. It took me 7.5 minutes. I should be executed.
5) One of my good friends had a date tongiht. He asked that I show up. I thought, "Well, I can't just wear this cutoff T-shirt, so I'll put on this XL Party Poker jacket." My best friend was wearing a 2XL Chauncey Billups T-shirt he'd worn the night before...
6) I was the most despicable person mentioned in #5
7) My friend Graig said I "was a fucking cartoon character" last night.
Wait a fucking second. I'm not ashamed about that last one at all; I'm AWESOME!!
posted by Derek at 3:39 AM
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