Curtis Ferguson Goes to the Spelling Bee

Announcer: "Curtis Ferguson, you may step to the microphone."

(A 13 year old male wearing a 3XL t-shirt and 2XL jeans approaches the mic, with a pick in his hair)

Curtis: "What my word is?"

Pronouncer: "Your word is 'sommelier.' Sommelier."

Curtis: "Man, you gave that little Hawaiian chick 'moloch' which every-goddamnedbody knows, and you give me sommelier? Man, what that even mean?"

Pronouncer: "A sommelier is a restaurant employee who orders and maintains the wines sold in the restaurant and usually has extensive knowledge about wine and food pairings."

Curtis: "Motherf-... you think MACDonald's has a mothafuckin' WINE LIST, bitch? Man, how I supposed to spell 'dat?"

Pronouncer: "Sommelier."

Curtis: "You say it one more time, I'm gonna fuck you up. You hear me?"

Pronouncer: "..."

Curtis: "Yeah, that's better. Now, what, that shit's, Greek, right?"

Pronouncer: "Uh, no. Sommelier is from Old French, to French. And then to English, obviously (chuckles)."

Curtis: "Obviously? Obviously? The itty-mologoy sure wasn't obvious to all of us, now was it sweater vest?"

Pronouncer: "I simply meant that it's now obviously an Eng-"

Curtis: "Man, shut up. Gimme some time to think, man. You always talking."

Curtis: "Man, sommelier.... Look, man, tell me how you spell 'dat."

Pronouncer: "How... how did you make it to the final 4 people of the National Spelling Bee?"

Curtis: "I'm serious, nigga! How the fuck you SPELL that?!"

Pronouncer: (looks terrified)

Curtis: "Man, whatever. Is it derived from the French 'sommerier' or the Vulgar Latin 'saumarius'?"

Pronouncer: (shocked) "Uh, yeah... yeah, it is. From, uh... from both, but how-"

Curtis: "Shut up. Curtis needs to spell. S-O-M-M-E-L-I-E-R."

Pronouncer: (nods)

Curtis: (pounds chest) "Yeeeah, Boy-ee! I got this spelling game on the LOCK down! Which one of y'all bitches takin' second. You wanna run shit? You gotta get through C-Fizzle, bitches!"