Two Little Conversations I Would Love to Have
Girl: "Why? What IS it? What did I do?"
Wang: "Honey, please... stop. Don't cry."
Girl: "Didn't I try hard enough? Didn't I love you enough?"
Wang: "No, no. Please. It's not you; it's me."
Girl: "Like I haven't heard THA-"
Wang: (increases volume, talks right over girl) "I'm just too shallow for a girl that looks like you."
Girl: "...?"
Wang: "Welcome to Dumpsville. Population: You."
Friend: (points to group of amazingly hot sluts) "Hey. Hey, Wang. Which one of those girls did you sleep with, again?"
Wang: (pause a beat)
then,
Wang: (deadly serious) "All of 'em."
Wang: (pause a beat)
then,
Wang: "Yeah..."
Wang: "Honey, please... stop. Don't cry."
Girl: "Didn't I try hard enough? Didn't I love you enough?"
Wang: "No, no. Please. It's not you; it's me."
Girl: "Like I haven't heard THA-"
Wang: (increases volume, talks right over girl) "I'm just too shallow for a girl that looks like you."
Girl: "...?"
Wang: "Welcome to Dumpsville. Population: You."
Friend: (points to group of amazingly hot sluts) "Hey. Hey, Wang. Which one of those girls did you sleep with, again?"
Wang: (pause a beat)
then,
Wang: (deadly serious) "All of 'em."
Wang: (pause a beat)
then,
Wang: "Yeah..."
posted by Derek at 11:09 PM
6 Comments:
I wonder who this is. And what that means. And if the capitalization of my name is meant to be as angry as it sounds in my head.
Wang: "Welcome to Dumpsville. Population: You."
p.s. I'm gay.
Best breakup lines ever?
It's a great breakup line. I think Fry from Futurama used it best, but I've heard it in some great situations.
Dutch said...
It's a great breakup line. I think Fry from Futurama used it best, but I've heard it in some great situations.
Yeah, I'm not even sure what the original incarnation is. The earliest I can remember is Futurama, and it certainly FEELS a little like a Simpsons/Futurama type line, but I really don't know where it came from.
A friend of a friend broke up with a girl he'd been dating for a month when he was in highschool by leaving an away message addressed to his girlfriend:
"Katie:
Welcome to Dumpsville. Population: You"
He was pretty cool
It's Simpsons, Bart the Lover episode. Bart responds to Miss Krabappel's classified with some letters and to get out of it he needs to write her a break-up letter.
Homer: "Step aside! Sensitive love letters are my specialty!
Dear Baby,
Welcome to Dumpsville. Population---You."
The family finally comes up with:
"Dearest Edna, I must leave you. Why I cannot say. Where I am going you cannot know. How I will get there I haven't decided yet. But one thing I can tell you, any time I hear the wind blow it will whisper the name... Edna. And so let us part with a love that will echo through the ages. -- Woodrow."
Homer wants to add "p.s. I am gay" at the end.
Yeah, yeah, that's right. That's the episode where they show Gordie Howe's career stats at the end. I KNEW it had the ring of a Simpsons quote.
I can sleep easy, now...
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