I...wh...what?
Once again, this is almost verbatim. I'd like to point out, however, that before this conversation took place I managed to use grammar/punctuation to hit on this girl. She reacted positively, and even went so far as to make a joke about Strunk and White. Which is pretty goddamned awesome.
Recent Phone Conversation (#2):
Wang: (dialing, listening to dialtone)
Girl: "Hello?"
Wang: "Hey, what's up?"
Girl: "Nothing. You?"
Wang: "Not much. You?"
Girl: "...still nothing."
Wang: (frozen, considering hanging up phone)
Girl: "So, too good to answer my calls, now?"
Wang: (relieved, formulating excuse for personal stupidity, considering elaborate lie) "Oh, yeah. Sorry about that. I, uh" (the truth will set you free, the truth will set you free, please GOD don't hate me....) "I, uh, was playing cards, so I kinda had to let it go to vo-"
Girl: "You were playing cards?"
Wang: (KABOOOOOM!!!!)"Yeah, shi- uh, yeah, I cou-"
Girl: "Oh, I understand completely. There's nothing worse than getting bitched at by a pit boss for flipping your phone open at the table."
Wang: (...) "...."
Girl: "Hello?"
Wang: "Yeah, sorry, I was, just... How do you know anything about pit bosses and, phones or whatever? And when they get mad and stuff?"
Girl: "Oh, sheesh. I have a lot of fun at the casino!"
Wang: "Did you just say 'oh shee-'"
Girl: "So how're you doing?"
Wang: "I'm fine."
Girl: "No... How are you doing, doing?"
Wang: "I-... what?"
Girl: "Are you winning or losing?"
Wang: "Oh, I'm in pretty decent shape. Nothing spectacular."
Girl: "Anyway, should I let you get back to your game, or what?"
Wang: (clicks "Deal me Out" button on all 3 Full Tilt screens) "Actually, I was just about to get up and take a little break..."
And I've got a date. Somehow. Don't ask me.
TOMORROW, I'll be talking about how hilarious it would be if a girl lost her virginity to Gwar.
Recent Phone Conversation (#2):
Wang: (dialing, listening to dialtone)
Girl: "Hello?"
Wang: "Hey, what's up?"
Girl: "Nothing. You?"
Wang: "Not much. You?"
Girl: "...still nothing."
Wang: (frozen, considering hanging up phone)
Girl: "So, too good to answer my calls, now?"
Wang: (relieved, formulating excuse for personal stupidity, considering elaborate lie) "Oh, yeah. Sorry about that. I, uh" (the truth will set you free, the truth will set you free, please GOD don't hate me....) "I, uh, was playing cards, so I kinda had to let it go to vo-"
Girl: "You were playing cards?"
Wang: (KABOOOOOM!!!!)"Yeah, shi- uh, yeah, I cou-"
Girl: "Oh, I understand completely. There's nothing worse than getting bitched at by a pit boss for flipping your phone open at the table."
Wang: (...) "...."
Girl: "Hello?"
Wang: "Yeah, sorry, I was, just... How do you know anything about pit bosses and, phones or whatever? And when they get mad and stuff?"
Girl: "Oh, sheesh. I have a lot of fun at the casino!"
Wang: "Did you just say 'oh shee-'"
Girl: "So how're you doing?"
Wang: "I'm fine."
Girl: "No... How are you doing, doing?"
Wang: "I-... what?"
Girl: "Are you winning or losing?"
Wang: "Oh, I'm in pretty decent shape. Nothing spectacular."
Girl: "Anyway, should I let you get back to your game, or what?"
Wang: (clicks "Deal me Out" button on all 3 Full Tilt screens) "Actually, I was just about to get up and take a little break..."
And I've got a date. Somehow. Don't ask me.
TOMORROW, I'll be talking about how hilarious it would be if a girl lost her virginity to Gwar.
posted by Derek at 1:14 AM
6 Comments:
it must be nice to have all these women calling you for dates.
Now, let the mix tape magic begin.
Girl: "...still nothing."
Wang: (frozen, considering hanging up phone)
I believe your assessment that I am a younger/older (probably older) is accurate. The above has happened to me on more than one occasion. That's probably why I was laughing really hard at that.
Girl: "No... How are you doing, doing?"
Wang: "I-... what?"
I love that you started to answer before realizing you didn't really know what she was asking. Funny stuff.
"younger/older you"
Damn parentheses.
joeyjojo said...
"'younger/older you'
Damn parentheses."
I'd just like to say that anybody who can correctly use the plural of "parenthesis" is welcome here.
And as for the younger/older debate, I'm really not sure whether I'd be happier if you were younger (protoge) or older (role model).
For your sake, I'm hoping you're 23+. If not, having something- ANYTHING- in common with me is just bad fucking news.
That being said, however, a coalition of professional gamblers handicapped my odds of getting laid on Saturday, and the line was:
Yes: +150
No: -135
I wasn't allowed to put any money on it, obviously, but most of the good money is coming in on "Yes +150."
Bodes well for both of us. I think. Then again, my date DOES have a tongue ring at 26(ish?). So, regardless of how much I suck, she's probably not adverse to fucking on the first date.
Gee, I sure hope my date doesn't see this. I'll be interested to see how the line moves when my friends see this tomorrow...
Funny story Wang.
I can tell you that my wife has a tongue ring (she's 28) and we had sex before we even had a first date.
So based on my one experience with a girl with a tongue ring, I must conclude that you are a mortal lock and I'm putting my money on yes.
What's the over/under on money spent on the date? Then I just need to find a book that'll let me parley the two with the Tigers to win it all.
Post a Comment
<< Home